Wild Willies Tactical Traveler Kit Designed to keep you properly armed for grooming and other daily tasks, this kit combines a dozen different tools for the modern man.

We know, the name sounds like something out of a James Bond movie. Or a Jason Bourne movie. Or any action movie with Angelina Jolie in it. It’s none of that. Instead, the Wild Willies Tactical Traveler Kit is a pre-packaged grooming kit for the modern man. Seriously.

Designed to keep you properly armed for grooming (and a few other tasks) while traveling, the kit combines a dozen different tools that any man will undoubtedly find useful while living out of hotels. Whether you’re on the road to do business, to get some leisure, or to weather the storm that is your angry wife at home, this thing will ensure you don’t devolve into an uncivilized mess the whole time.

The Wild Willies Tactical Traveler Kit gets you covered on the grooming front with a trimmer to keep your ear and nose hairs in check, nail clippers to keep those digits clean, a safety razor for shaving, tweezers for pulling out those stray gray hairs, a hairbrush with a mirror for keeping your mane in check, and a travel toothbrush to keep your smile looking good. There’s even an emergency sewing kit in case your favorite coat ends up getting ripped at the seam by that angry boyfriend at the bar last night, as well as eyeglass repair kit, in case your glasses got accidentally sat on by the girlfriend of that angry boyfriend that you went out with on the date.

To make the kit even more useful, they branched out beyond grooming to keep you equipped with a few other tricks. There’s a dual-purpose knife and cork screw opener, for instance, for opening that red wine and cutting that cheese during dinner, as well as a carabiner with a built-in screwdriver, so you can hang stuff on your backpack and tighten any loose screws you come across in your daily gallivanting.

The Wild Willies Tactical Traveler Kit also has a keychain flashlight, in case the power goes out at the hotel, as well as a multi-tool credit card that has a ruler, a bottle opener, a scraper, some driver tips, and some wrenches on there to let you do a whole load of things on the road. That means, you can, pretty much, leave your Swiss Army Knife at home because this thing has you covered on most things it can do. They even threw in some length of survival paracord on there, in case you need to tie up the angry boyfriend before he kills you. Or something.

The whole thing comes in a zippered case that looks like one of those cases you used to store CDs and DVDs from back in the day. Except, instead of disc slots inside, it comes with elastic loops that you can use to store all the contents of the kit in a neat and organized manner. Yeah, this whole thing looks very clean.

Want one? The Wild Willies Tactical Traveler Kit is available now, priced at $34.95.

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