Discommon Goods Bottle Opener This elaborately-designed, sculpture-like bottle opener may be what your mini-bar has been missing all this time.


Yes, it’s too much design for such a simple, commonplace object, but if you want a bottle opener you can keep at a prominent spot on the coffee table without making your place give off dorm room and frat house vibes, Discommon Goods’ Bottle Opener sure does the trick. Seriously, that’s a bottle opener?

Sporting a pebble-like shape, it looks more like a meaningful keepsake than a prying tool for popping the caps off bottles. The latter, however, is exactly what it does, so you can simply grab a bottle of that delicious craft brew you’ve been chilling in the fridge, head straight to the couch, and have a bottle opener readily on hand as you sit back to enjoy an hour of America’s Got Talent. Yeah, you have questionable viewing habits.


The Discommon Goods Bottle Opener’s distinct silhouette features detailed bone lines for structure, enabling a strong grip whenever you grab it to pry open some cold suds, as well as sculpted patterns on the surface that look like organic rock markings developed over millions of years. Each one is machined from aerospace-grade aluminum, with deliberately uneven lines that create a striking hand-chiseled (or nature-inflicted, your pick) effect. The actual prying of the caps is performed by a stainless steel coin on the underside, which features a chamfered edge to hook onto the edges of bottle caps with ease.


If you’re the kind of guy who takes pride in the type of beer you you chug to get inebriated, we guess you’d care enough to get a bottle opener you can take pride in, too. The Discommon Goods Bottle Opener is priced at $140, with limited edition Timascus and Damascus steel versions going for $230 apiece.